Putting The O.C. in OCD

I wouldn't say I'm a computer genius, but I did manage to download an episode of the-very-best-TV-program-in-the-whole-wide-world-ever, The O.C., last night.

I have to give an O.C.-style fist-pound to my peeps, xxxx_Rachel_xxxx and doodleeatsffs from the IMDB O.C. message board, for introducing me to the world of downloading freaking TV shows off the Internet.

In just 1 hour and 8 minutes I was able to have, playing on my very own computer screen, episode one from The O.C. season 3, "The Aftermath." I wept.

Because you don't understand. We had missed the first two episodes of this season! Desperate times, my friends. Until the nice folks on the IMDB boards answered my plea for help in getting my paws on them.

Let me backtrack slightly. You may recall that the consequences of my partying it up in the Houston left me in sad shape for a couple of weeks.

I decided that while I was recovering, I'd start watching the DVDs of a television program that looked like something I should have watched from the beginning, but that I'd missed the boat on because I was stuck keeping house and cooking bland food for my hairy ex-boyfriend in freaking England when it premiered in the summer of 2003.

So one night I called up Kelli and I was like, "Let's not go to the movies; let's rent The O.C." She also had missed the boat, although I don't think a furry foreigner had anything to do with it. But Blockbuster didn't have all the discs we needed. And there were seven of them and it was going to cost me millions of dollars to rent them. So I decided to buy them instead.

I had no idea that one trip to Best Buy could change my life.

Because, since that day, The O.C. has become heroin to us, such is the hold it has over our lives, such are the lengths we will go to in order to watch it. Kelli and I watched something like 20 episodes in a single weekend. I rushed out and bought season two after that. And it's only taken us three weeks to watch them both. The best part is that we've dragged other unsuspecting people down with us. Ariel and Kate also now have soap-opera-worthy addictions to this soap opera, this television smack that keeps us coming back for more.

I'll leave it at that because if I told you the lying, sneaking, abandoning, and breaking-and-entering that have gone on so that we could watch The O.C. on DVD as quickly and as often as possible, you'd stop being my friend. And not just 'cause you'd find out I dicked you over last Tuesday to watch the Chrismukkah episode for the fifth time. It's almost shameful.

I came to the show for its clever writing, its smart storylines, and its soapy goodness, but I stayed for its brooding bad-boy, Ryan Atwood.

I have already informed Kate that if we ever meet Ben McKenzie (the actor who plays him) I will cut her and push her into the gutter in order to get to him first. In a totally normal, breezy, not-psycho way, of course.

I am well aware that women my age should not have glitter- and streamer-adorned 14-year-old-girl crushes on TV stars, but the brooding! I can't resist a man who can brood. And his bite-worthy biceps do not hurt, either.

Let's just say this: I'm a vegetarian. But for Ben I would make an exception.

And, I mean, last season it was all left up in the air. Ryan almost died! I had to know what happened in the premiere! I had to see if his biceps would be OK, if he'd live to wear another wife-beater.

Enter the reason I'm writing this post, which is because we live in a time in which, well yeah, we fight real wars for fake reasons, but we also can download missed episodes of our favorite TV shows from the Internet.

And really, isn't that all that matters!

Let me know if you have the Tiger Beat with Ben on the cover: pilarrrgh@gmail.com