My Brilliance Comes in Flashes, and Usually over E-mail

Stacy from work and I were just emailing, a conversation about how most Tiffany silver jewelry (like the dog tags or that typical tiffany ring) is kinda ugly and definitely ridiculously overpriced for a hunk of sterling.

For that kind of money, I said I'd rather have diamonds from one of those diamond stores that advertise on TV late at night. Stacy agreed and said she likes the silver jewelry from a hippy shop better.

I mean, God bless you if you love the Tiffany stuff, but it's just not my thing.

My exebf (ex English boyfriend) sent me a knockoff of the stupid Tiffany heart necklace once when he was going to France for two weeks where there wasn't a phone. I guess it was to make me feel like he was with me while we were apart and couldn't talk.

Beautiful sentiment, ugly necklace. I opened the package when it came in the mail and I was like, "What the fuck is this?" Not because I'm ungrateful, but because I'm not the sort of broad who wears dainty heart-shaped necklaces. But I wore it anyway because at the time, it reminded me of him more than it reminded me of how ugly it was. Of course this was back when being reminded of him didn't make me feel like crying, puking, and throwing myself a party all at the same time.

But I have strayed off course.

Stacy was saying she wished aquamarine had the same staus of a diamond, "because it is so sparkly and light blue." Then she could have an engagement ring that is an aquamarine.

Aquamarine is about to become a huge theme in this post and I didn't even realize it would. Because my birthstone is aquamarine (that makes me a Pisces, for those of you wondering what house my moon is in right now). And I have a friend named Jill who got a giant aquamarine engagement ring instead of a diamond. Which is weird because aside from maybe peridot (Leo's birthstone), aquamarines are like the least glamourous birthstone ever, and I had never heard of anyone coveting them before Jill got engaged and Stacy sent me that email.

But still, I've not reached my point. When I read Stacy's idea of an aquamarine engagement ring, I got one of my patented Flashes of Brilliance™. I mean, I don't even like rings. My fingers recoil in fear when they see a ring coming at them. They feel trapped and suffocated wearing rings. Look at that, turns out I can blame my fear of commitment on my fingers. I'll have to remember that.

So back to the Brilliance™. I decided that if I ever allow someone to marry me, I will not accept an engagement ring (aquamarine or otherwise). No, no!. I'll get an engagement Mini Cooper! In electric blue, which is kinda like aquamarine, with a checkerboard roof and mirrors. And all the fixins.

So if I ever get that bf who's willing to folllow me into the dark, he'll have to be quick because I'll be speeding away in my Mini.

Let's motor: pilarrrgh@gmail.com